Anxious? Your priority is your health, the rest is gravy (+ SAFE mantra)

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Anxious depressed business man

I am paraphrasing the words of Dr. Alicia Clark, PsyD PLLC, noted psychologist and author of “Hack Your Anxiety: How to make Anxiety Work for You in Life, Love, and All That You Do.” In an early-pandemic presentation she gave, she reminded folks that health is our priority now, and the rest is gravy. By the way, if you suffer from anxiety (don’t we all, these days?), she offers a very helpful COVID anxiety tool, a free online course, and a compassionate, informative blog. Here’s one of my favorite of Dr. Clark’s recent posts on how to handle anxiety.

Doctors have long noted that high anxiety and stress lower not only our ability to see things clearly and make good decisions, but they also hobble our body’s immune response. And with this virus, we want to do all we can to manage our stress, keep our immune system strong, and maintain general health. In COVID times, the rest is of secondary importance. Even without a pandemic, our health is the base upon which all else is built.

There are so many details we could consider, follow and worry about, especially when there is constant news, and we’re facing new challenges in doing our work, staying in touch with family and friends, learning new programs…. We need to figure out a way to manage life, not just one segment perfectly. One of my mantras, those phrases that inspire us to healthier behavior, is simplify life, accept trade-offs, focus on what I can do, and embrace imperfection (SAFE). For example, recently, I’ve found that 95% of the time, I am wearing 20% of my wardrobe, what I have started calling “picnic clothes.” There is no need for the party dresses or suits — and I’m fine with being much more casual, even in business “meetings”, t-shirt and jeans? sure! Repeating outfits? Oh yeah. And washing the same things every two weeks? Yep. The dust bunny under the sofa – oh well. I might wear something special for a zoom birthday or virtual graduation, or might not, but my congratulations will still be hearty. Letting non-substantial details go (eg dress expectations, etc) and focusing on what we can affect (not all we hear about) makes life much more manageable. Simplify.

Specifically, with regard to COVID-19, I focus on 5 things. I am in NYC, which for months has been an epicenter. i) I stay home as much as possible (and am grateful for good internet and all the exercise, education, entertainment it offers); ii) wear a mask outside & don’t touch my face; iii) to the extent possible stay 6+ ft (or 2m) away from others; iv) wash hands and mask, with soap, when I get home; and v) spray frequently touched surfaces with diluted bleach. I’m not a medical doctor, but that’s the consensus I hear from multiple experts. So, I’ve incorporated those five practices into my life – home, mask, distancing, soap, spray. Yes, it takes adjustments, especially with kids (and with certain adults), especially early on, but 5 things are much easier to think about, than the infinite details that keep coming out about this virus and it’s path. I’m a big fan of the Pareto principle – you get 80% of your results from 20% of your efforts.

So, let’s take care of ourselves – be SAFE and give yourself a break. And, maybe, check out some of the funny songs about these times on YouTube – there are some great parodies! We will get through this.

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