As I finished graduate school, the hope of financial security I thought that renowned and expensive degree would offer was dashed; my job offer was rescinded, due to an economic downturn. It happened to SO many of us that year. As I began my job search again, and began to accumulate credit card debt, I gradually realized there were a few ingredients I needed each day, to keeping me balanced, healthy, focused, and resilient. NB: I didn’t say light-hearted and party-full, but there were moments of joy, and I was mostly balanced.
Without some structure, many of us drift (whether we’re talking about getting a small business off the ground, or an individual building his/her/their life), and fail to notice what we DO accomplish. The ups and downs are unavoidable, so we navigate or surf them. And, I’ve never seen an example where beating ourselves up strengthened the business, or our personal resolve.
So, what does work? Figuring out what we need to keep our spirits up and not white-knuckle through it. Throw out any foolish idea we should be “strong enough” without help and happy moments. Know thy limits. And welcome teammates with complementary skills. So, I decided to sit myself down and look at when I felt happiest or more resilient within this job search, and what were the conditions. I made my short list.
Everyone has slightly different needs, and we must manage context and our expectations of ourself (as well as those others have for us – sigh). Back then, I realized that to keep myself going, I needed to limit what I shared with diverse groups (one friend, later distilled the concept really nicely into the information for the press briefing, the information for staff, and the information for the cabinet).
I also realized I needed to do something social, something that made me feel productive, something intellectual (that made me think), and something active. It’s not about the percentage of time devoted to each activity or category, but about experiencing each category every day. Going to the gym could check the box for productive, social and active. Applying for five positions, or researching for the interviews, could check the productive box. Reading the newspaper could check both the intellectual and productive boxes. Volunteering could potentially check all four boxes. You get the gist.
I find things easier to remember, when I can distill the practice to a single sentence or an acronym. It’s not the acronym itself that’s powerful, but what it helps us remember to do. So, SPIA was born. At the end of the day, I check to see if I did
✅ something Social?
✅ something Productive?
✅ something Intellectual (that makes me think)?
✅ something Active?
SPIA – Each day, I wanna be able to list something next to each of these 4 boxes. And it became my simple, personal resilience tool.
When I’ve had tough times, this is one of the basics I come back to, while I clear my head and figure out next steps. Something social, something productive, something intellectual, and something active. I’ll do other things, including distracted scrolling, but if I do and acknowledge those four each day, frustration levels are decidly less, hope is easier to find, and eventually so is the focus. And after all, resilience is about not beating ourselves (and others) up, but getting back up, right?