What to think about “The Oak and the Reed”

There’s an Aesop’s fable you might have heard of, about an oak tree and a reed, about strength and flexibility, or pride and adaptability. The oak had grown big and beautiful, and it taunted the reed for its frailty and bending with every wind. The reed admired the imposing figure, but didn’t respond to oak’s taunts. One day, a violent storm came, and winds howled much of the night. By the time the clouds cleared and winds calmed, our tree had been blown over, its rigidity leaving it stretched across the center of the meadow. And the reed, which knew how to bend with the wind was still in it’s place.

 

Oak trees are solid, serene, strong. Often a symbol of reliability and quiet strength or perseverence. Grasses, waving in the fields are poetic, beautiful, romantic; they bend and dance, or sometimes are trampled under foot and slowly bounce back. Is one a better metaphor for how to manage our lives and work?

Well… it depends. That lack of clarity can be SO frustrating, even angering. But life offers us many situations and people to interact with, so “it depends” is an unfortunately valid response. At times, we need to peacefully stand our ground and persevere; other times we need to bend. We can fight the concept and look for our always-applicable-steps, or work with it. Similarly, we’ll draw on different parts of ourselves (and have different goals), when we speak to our favorite 5 year old dressed in mismatched clothes, and when we speak to an adult friend in an unflattering outfit. The former situation might focus on admiring the self-sufficiency and creativity; the latter might focus on suggesting an alternative favorite outfit, that seems “even better for the occasion.” We all have examples of adapting to context. It’s tiring and unrealistic to always “be strong.” Resilience is about long term strength, so that means bending sometimes.